Last night the supreme ruler, complete with his crown and scepter, requested from the American peasants more time to damage the country and ruin their livelihoods — his work not being done, don’t you know.
How strange the experience of watching a man that has ruled by executive order for the better part of two years asking for more time to do the same. After all, Democrats will not regain the House — they may even lose the Senate — so if re-elected, Obama isn’t going to be able to implement much of his liberal-socialist agenda through proper government procedures. He will be forced to rely even more heavily on executive orders. But shed no tears for the supreme ruler, my fellow commoners, those at court convey he is up to the task.
There was a glorious moment when the leader of the godless Democrat party, like other great televangelists before him, quoted scripture. Actually, he read a prepared passage from a teleprompter — but close enough. Anyway, the unclean heathens went silent as the anointed one spoke, and just for a moment a halo appeared over his head. Did you witness it? It was truly a divine moment. Thank goodness for hi-def TV.
Also during his speech, the supreme ruler made vague reference to the idea that he is a different dictator, pardon me, a different man — you know, he has learned from his mistakes. He didn’t mentioned any specific mistakes so one is left to presume he was referring to having the word god removed from the Democratic platform prior to the election. Or a law he has decided not to enforce. Or perhaps he was referring to the hot-mic promise to the Russians. Recall that? It was something about wait until after the election, then we can really go to town on our slimy subjects. Or perhaps he was referring to some opportunity he missed to further desecrate the American Constitution. Whatever the mistakes, what a soaring moment it was to witness the perfect politician, Mr. Wonderful, not spell them out or mention the valuable lessons learned.
He touched on our barbaric society, too. How he needs our help to see his vision of social justice and utopia become reality. It is time, he pleaded, for the many to sacrifice for the few. He promised that under his reign he will continue make those people that used to have give even more to those that are getting.
And so, with all the humility befitting a true narcissist, our supreme ruler requested the peasants extend to him more time. He promised he would reduce America’s reliance on imported oil, that he’d create a million jobs and — actually, just look up his 2008 campaign speeches — the promises are the same.
All hail our supreme ruler.
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