Romney and Obama Bring Down the House at The Alfred E. Smith Dinner

Bookmark and Share   With well timed and perfectly delivered humor, Mitt Romney and Barack Obama both proved themselves to be quite funny during the 67th annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City.  (See the video of both men’s remarks at the bottom of this post) 

The dinner is an annual white tie charity fundraiser for Catholic charities, that is always held on the third Thursday of October, in honor of Al Smith, a former New York Governor and the first Catholic presidential candidate.  Every four years, the Republican and Democrat presidential nominees traditionally headline the gathering and this year, the tradition continued with Obama and Romney.

First up was Mitt Romney and from the get go he had the well-heeled guests in attendance falling off their chairs.  With a mix of wise cracking one-liners that politely but sharply zinged the President and a combination of self-deprecating humor that poked fun at his own most pronounced characteristics, Romney unleashed a torrent of kneeslappers that stunned listeners with the boldness of his jokes and the hysterical nature of them.  Among his best lines was one that came after Mitt said that many people wonder how one prepares for presidential debates.  He said that in his case, you first spend 65 years refraining from any alcoholic beverages.  While speaking of the debate Romney floored the audience when he told them that what you also do is

“find the biggest available strawman and then just mercilessly attack them… Big Bird didn’t even see it coming” 

He promptly added;

“And by the way in the spirit of Sesame Street, the President’s remarks tonight are brought to you by the letter “O” and the number 16 trillion”.

For Mitt, the hits kept coming with remarks about everything from his hoping the President had brought Joe Biden with him because of the Vice President’s ability to laugh at anything, to even several quite blunt and hysterical digs at the media.

Part of Romney’s success at the event was probably based on how surprised people were to this absolutely funny side of the straight-laced Mormon.  But there was also no dnying the brilliance of the material he used in his approximately 9 minute remarks.

Immediately following Romney was the President and from beginning to end he too did not disappoint.

The President effectively made himself the biggest target in his remarks which began with many references to his first debate performance.  According to the President,

“As some of you may have noticed, I had a lot more energy in our second debate. I felt really well rested after the nice long nap I had in the first debate”

From there the President touched on array of people and topics, including Romney and like Romney he did so in a superbly lighthearted and disarming manner that put the often mean spirited nature of campaigns and elections in a refreshingly civil and even friendly light.

Both speeches were truly great and well worth your time watching.

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Obamacare: 4 Doctors Talk Politics!

Bookmark and Share  An Israeli doctor said,

“Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks.”

A German doctor said

“That’s nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks.”

A Russian doctor said,

“In my country, medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another and have them both looking for work in two weeks.”

The American doctor, not to be outdone, said

“Hah! We took an asshole out of Illinois, put him in the White House and half the country has been looking for work ever since.”

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Barack Obama, Spinning More Than Music

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You’re invited to the Barack Obama Blunder-Bus Tour

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President Obama Also Inherited A Triple A Rating: Punch Line Politics

Bookmark and Share   In honor of President Obama becoming the first American President to have our credit rating downgraded, White House 2012 presents to you a page dedicated to the Obama economy. And yes, after well over two years, this is his economy. I mean after all, President Obama did inherit many things when he took office. But you know what he also inherited from former President George W. Bush? A triple A credit rating? So suck it up Mr. President. After more than two years of laying blame on others, what exactly is it that you are responsible for?

President Obama was not responsible for the handing of the Gulf Oil disaster, the debacle that turned what was supposed to be “The Summer of Recovery” into the summer that never was for businesses and tourism in the Gulf States. He was responsible for creating 2 million jobs but he is not responsible high unempoyment?   He is not responsible for the national debt, yet President Obama added more to the national debt in the first 19 months of his first term than all the Presidents from Washington through Reagan combined. President Obama is not responsible for the war he created with Libya and left up to our incompetent European allies, but he is responsible for the capture of Osama bin Laden?

Well the truth is that our President is responsible. He can’t have it both ways. He is the Commander-in-Chief and as such, he is responsible. He is responsible for both his actions and his inactions. And when it comes to the economy, he is just as responsible for its condition as a bank robber is for the money they stole from the bank vault.

To drive that point home, here are few humorous ways of pinting it out:

The Obama economy is so bad.… that the I.R.S. is allowing Americans to list him as the most expensive dependent on your tax return?

The Obama economy is so bad…. that President Obama is planning to write off his second term.

The Obama economy is so bad.… that Kenya now claims he wasn’t born there.

The Obama economy is so bad…that the President is changing his slogan to “Hope and Spare Change!”

The Obama economy is so bad…that Nancy Pelosi is selling earmarks for 1/2 price.

 The Obama economy is so bad…that the President is running a small business on the side. It’s called GM.

The Obama economy is so bad…that Rosie O’Donnell is losing weight.

The Obama economy is so bad…that Al Gore is selling carbon credits on late night television.

 The Obama economy is so bad…that Bill Ayers has to make do with M-80s.

 The Obama economy is so bad…that Barack’s pyramid is on hold.

The Obama economy is so bad…that you can order checks pre-marked “Insufficient Funds.”

The Obama economy is so bad…that Americans are being caught sneaking into Mexico.

The Obama economy is so bad…that the Chicago mob is laying off judges.

The Obama economy is so bad…that the federal stimulus checks are bouncing.

The Obama economy is so bad…that even people who aren’t in the Cabinet have stopped paying taxes.

The Obama economy is so bad…that Michael Vick is working at Petco.

The Obama economy is so bad…that Al Sharpton cuts his own hair.

The Obama economy is so bad…that McDonald’s has a layaway plan.

Now going from the ridiculous to the sublime……… some brief facts:

Our credit rating was downgraded for a number of factors.  Among them, according to Standard & Poors the political atmosphere which makes it unlikely for a significant political agreement on how to control spending, and an inability to reform Medicare and Social Security which will account for the largest portion of doubt. Other factors played a roll too but all of them led to one overriding issue……..our inability to control our debt.

More facts:

When it comes to the very thing that is responsible for the United States’ having its credit rating downgraded for the first time in history, our debt, one should understand that no single person is more responsible for that debt than is our President. Don’t believe me? Than look at the facts below

While the numbers below do not reflect the actual total national debt, it does reflect the amount of the INCREASE in the national debt during each presidential term.

  • Ronald Reagan’s First Term – $656 billion increase
  • Ronald Reagan’s Second Term – $1.036 trillion increase
  • George H.W. Bush’s Term – $1.587 trillion increase
  • Bill Clinton’s First Term – $1.122 trillion increase
  • Bill Clinton’s Second Term – $418 billion increase
  • George W. Bush’s First Term – $1.885 trillion increase
  • George W. Bush’s Second Term – $3.014 trillion increase
  • Barack Obama’s First “Year” – $1.573 trillion increase

So, while it is obvious that the national debt was a creation of bi-partisan doing, it is also quite apparent that the largest increase during a single year occurred during Barack Obama’s first year. While George W. Bush’s second four years in office saw the largest increase for a complete term, Barack Obama is barely through half of his first term and he has surpassed that record in droves. So who is responsible? Is it the TEA Party? Is it the new Republican majority in the House of Representatives? Is it those who voted against the recent debt ceiling hike agreement because they believed it did not cut spending enough? Or is it the President who refused to play an ctive role in cutting spending and has grown the size and scope and cost of  government by leaps and bounds?

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New Obama Ad Sells “BS Remover”

Bookmark and Share   As we move closer to the Republican primaries and caucuses, voters will begin to get inundated with political advertisements. Some ads will be ominous and stress the somber tone of our economy.  Some ads will be upbeat and try to create an air of optimism about the candidate they are promoting. Other advertisements will try to make a positive point about the candidate they are for through the creative use of humor. But few ads will probably be as amusing as this gem that White House 2012 stumbled upon.

To set the tone for it, let me take you back to the last time you were driving your car. Remember that fool who cut you off 0r was going 35 mph on a stretch of road with a 65 mph speed limit?. Do you remember when you noticed that Obama-Biden ‘08 bumper sticker they had stuck to their car? Well if you think like me, you probably said to yourself, “well that explains why they drive like a jackass.” You might even recall how you felt the urge to say something like “thanks a lot for giving us Obama, you fool”, to the driver of that car.

Well this ad will make you realize that you’re not alone. But the creator of this YouTube video took that thinking to the next level with the “BS Remover”.

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Presidential Punch Lines: White House 2012 Jokes and Pokes

Bookmark and Share White House 2012 is proud to introduce a new category of posts called Presidential Punch Lines.

Until Inauguration Day in 2013, Presidential Punch Lines will be poking some fun at the individual who is sticking us with more government, more spending and less freedom, our President, Barack Obama.Whether we like him or not, he is our nation’s President and at the very leasrt, the office he holds warrants respects. But that respect does not make him or the office of President immune from some good natured humor. And our humor is not just limited to him. His friends in elected office, (Republicans and Democrats alike) and at the DNC are also open to being joked about. If they have anything to do with the White House, they are all fair game.

White House 2012 Mug: Each month, it will be awarded to the individual who sends in the the funniest original Presidential Punch Line material

Be it policy, personal qualities, or public faux pas, it’s all up for grabs here at Presidential Punch Lines. And while we will provide you with some of thehumor here, we hope to have you provide some it too. So White House 2012 would to welcome you to send in your own funny presidential jokes, cartoons, images, and videos. If you have materail that you would like to be considered for reproduction in White House 2012, send them to:

Tell us if it is your own original work and the name you would like to be publiclycredited by.

Each month, the best materail will receive a White House 2012 mug. (It may not be much but it’s something (Contrary to liberal impressions not all of us Republicans are rich by any definition they have this week)

So join White House 2012 in tickling some poitical funny bones and help us laugh at that which if we didn’t laugh about, we’d cry over.

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We’ll start you off with this little gem:

It was recently reported in the news that the President had been accidentally locked out of the White House. For that one panicked moment Obama thought that they must have found his real birth certificate.

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