A Uniquely Frank Assessment of the Republican Presidential Candidates Compliments of Youtube

Bookmark and Share   The internet is merely a mirror of society and a stroll through the internet is sure to make you realize that there is a lot to fear in our society and a lot that makes you just shake your head and say “are they for real?”.  If you think I’m exaggerating, pick a word or phrase, any word phrase. Type it out on your keyboard, hit enter, and see what you find.  You will be amazed.

For instance, as an exercise I typed the seemingly innocuous word “ice”.  What it produced was an array of everything from the mundane to the insane.  In addition to websites and entities that use the letters I, C, and E as their acronym, such as the Institute of Culinary Education , and the U.S. Immigration and Custom Enforcement agency, I also found an L.A. Times article on whether or not Ice Age horse painters really did see spots.  And then I found this…….. IceChewing.com.

IceChewing.com is an online forum for people who love to chew ice.

I guess there is a lot to say about this topic.  Mainly along the lines of psychiatric analyses, but to each his…..or her……own.  It’s a free country.

But all that comes just from looking up the word “ice” on the internet.  So imagine what you can find when you dive in to the internet seeking opinions on things a little more complex than ice, such as politics.

Well in my most recent exploration of the world-wide web, I stumbled upon a most unique assessment of the Republican presidential field.  But before you watch it, be forewarned, it is anything but politically correct.

I watched this video as if I were viewing a car wreck that was taking place right before my eyes and with my jaw dropped I stared at it stunned by what what I was seeing.  I did not know how to react.   My first assumption was that the video performance before me was the product of a mentally ill person.  I began to wonder how many people actually think this way and are as naive about politics as this guy, be they fatuous or psychotic.

Upon further investigation I found out that the video was the work of Alec Steinmetz, an aspiring, 18 year old, comedian from Indianapolis, Indiana.

I have to tell you, when I found that out, I was so relieved, that I had forgotten how offensive much of what he said in the video was so offensive.  I guess that accounts for the value part of “shock value”.

Now I will leave it up to you decide whether it was funny or not.  That is a matter of personal taste and choice.  It is the same type of different tastes that have made some people actually thing that the item in the following is tasteful.  So much so that over 5 million have been sold.

Now that’s art.

Tastes aside, I will state this. The fact that I was not immediately able to discern the video by Alec Steinmetz, from being that of someones’ honest opinion or their attempt to be funny, is a sad commentary on today’s politics and society.  Some people truly are this stupid about politics and the scariest thing of all is that they get to vote.  But that is all part of the give and take in democracy.  It is who we are and whether you believe it or not, we are weird.

Still don’t believe me?

After entering the word “clown” in one search engine I discovered a forum for the wonderful world of  Insane Clown Posse fans (aka “Juggalos”) and God-fearing Christians.  It’s called JuggaloFaith.

Is that weird enough for you?

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Obamacare: 4 Doctors Talk Politics!

Bookmark and Share  An Israeli doctor said,

“Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks.”

A German doctor said

“That’s nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks.”

A Russian doctor said,

“In my country, medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another and have them both looking for work in two weeks.”

The American doctor, not to be outdone, said

“Hah! We took an asshole out of Illinois, put him in the White House and half the country has been looking for work ever since.”

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Hajmopolitan

Fini Goodman is a new addition to the WH12 team. She is an actress, comedian and stay at home Mom who will be offering White House 2012 readers a weekly dose of political humor. For more of her work visit http://finigoodman.com

Bookmark and Share I consider myself intelligent and well read. I voraciously read everything from Kant to Dostoyevsky to Spinoza. I make sure I am seen in coffeehouses reading them with the covers prominently displayed so that I look smart. I have a confession to make: behind closed doors, hidden in my bathroom away from any witnesses, I am a devout and prolific reader of Cosmopolitan and other womens magazines such as Marie Claire, Glamour and Vogue. I also love In Style and Elle. Oh, and Shape and Harpers Bazaar and W. I am an authority on such diverse subjects as Why my Thighs are Too Fat to What His Smile Means to 8 Ways to Wow Him in Bed. I have been greatly influenced to Dress to Get Noticed. -I apologize to everyone at Aunt Ednas funeral for the miniskirt without panties: I now know that there are times you should let others take center stage.

Womens magazines have influenced me greatly to change how I look, how I act, and most importantly, to never be satisfied with myself. They control my thoughts and my relationships with men. Which is why I am rather impressed with Al Qaedas understanding of a basic rule of the female psyche: that you can use womens magazines to control women. Armed with this knowledge, Al Qaeda is debuting a magazine to appeal to the female Jihaddist. It is based on Cosmopolitan and the first issue will have skincare tips and how to marry a suicide bomber. The second issue will have skin exfoliation tips, how to use social networking to recruit terrorists and how to marry a suicide bomber. The magazine is called Al-Shamikha or The Majestic Woman.

I have procured a translation of the Table of Contents:
Fashion/Beauty
  • Your Last Chance to Make a Good Impression: What to Wear to Your Stoning (Page 3).
  • Staying Inside and Other Ways to Keep Your Complexion Perfect (Page 4).
  • Is Black the New Black? How Black Eyes Have Become the Trend of the Year. (Page 6).
  • Burkha Woes: How to Stand Out in Your Facebook Profile Picture (Page 7).

Financial Advice

  • Your Husband Makes The Ultimate Sacrifice to Kill the Infidel Zionist: Susie Ormandaffi Gives Advice on What to Do With the $25,000 Payment Plus Tips on How to Find a Rich Suicide Bomber. (Page 9).

Food/Keeping a Home

  • How to Pick the Perfect Little Black Dress that No One Will See You In and Other Ways to Make Staying Inside the House Fun.(Page 11).
  • Making the Perfect Hummus: This Garlicky Take on an Old Treat Will Guarantee That Your Man will Force Sex on You and Not His Other Wives for Seven Days (Page 15).
  • This is the Will of Allah (And Other Affirmations While Your Husband is Beating You) (Page 17).

Profile

  • When Pain Doesnt Hurt Anymore: Forgetting Earthly Joys in Favor of the Koran: Special Guest Mufti Haj Jabbar Abdul Kareem. This Most Honorable Scholar of the Koran who has declared 5,000 Fatwas Against Infidels Gives Advice on Being a Good Muslim Woman. (Page 19).

Beefcake Section

  • Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Poses Without his Shirt: Exploring the Thousand-Year Werewolf Trend among Arab Men. (Page 423).

Sex/Love

  • Standing out Among 6 Wives: How to Wow Him in Bed Without Getting Beaten for Being a Whore (Page 425).
  • 6 Ways to Enjoy Your Clitoris Before Your Aunt Cuts it Off. (Page 427).
  • Making His Last Night Count: How to Make Sure He Comes to You Instead of a Western Strip Club His Last Night Alive Before He Kills himself while carrying out the suicide bombing against the Zionist Infidels. (Page 428).

Al-Shamikha is based on Cosmo: in it, there is advice that is reflective of the Jihaddi culture from advice on staying inside to which suicide bomber is the right suicide bomber to marry. Cosmo plies Western women with rules that reflect our culture: we have to worry about whether to tease or flat iron our hair before our quiet date at home wherein we cook the perfect Engagement Chicken Dinner while we Figure out What Hes Thinking so that we can Amaze Him With Our Conversation. Then later, take him to bed and Give Him the Perfect Blow Job while trying to effortlessly find the Secret Spot on His Testicles That Will Make Him Crazy. We have to do all of this while making sure the red gel we put on our lamp to Make Our Bedroom More Seductive supplies us with the perfect lighting as we try to Give Ourselves the Perfect Angle to Hide Our Unsightly Cellulite and Tummy Pooch. Then after we finish, we have to Think Like a Man and let him fall asleep and not expect cuddling or a commitment and remember Not to Text Him Too Much The Next Day. The list of rules for The Koran is shorter. It makes me wonder if Cosmo has become our Koran. Women in Islam enforce the culture like the dress codes to performing genital mutilations with pride to teaching the points of Islam to the next generation. Women edit and write Cosmo and are harsher on each other than men could ever be on women and it looks like Al-Shamikha is following in that vein. Perhaps both cultures would be less harsh to women if women would ease up on each other and their children. I for one am going to try: the next time my husband thinks a girl is hot and I look at her and only see her big nose and jiggling thighs and wonder how he can possibly find her attractive, I will ease up on her and look at her pretty smile and thin waist. Maybe I will even do the impossible: maybe I will ease up on myself.

For a link to the article about Al-Shamikha (lest you think Im such a genius Ive made all of this up)

http://6thfloor.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/03/16/al-qaedas-cosmo/

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*Editors Note:

This is Mrs. Goodman’s first post to WH12. We are so very happy to have the honorof her allowing WH12 toprovide you withher wit and humor and we look forward to sharingmany more weekly humor posts from her in the months ahead.

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